Professor shares a first-hand look at grief in new book
Riverside, Calif. (July 23, 2026) — Antonio Méjico Jr., associate professor of social work, lost a close friend to suicide in his mid-30s. During this time, he discovered contemplative prayer, a form of prayer focused on quiet reflection, honest conversation with God and meditation on Scripture. Méjico says this allowed him to fully surrender his grief to the Lord.
Drawing from his research and personal experience, Méjico wrote his book, “When the Hurting is Too Much: A Guide to Contemplative Prayer to Help you Walk with Grief.” It explores his experience with this prayer, while shedding light onto the impact grief has on mental, physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
As the associate dean of the Division of Social Work at California Baptist University, Méjico has touched on grief in the past, such as in his presentation to one of CBU’s Human Development courses and in a workshop held at Badger Springs Middle School in Moreno Valley, California.
His past work with grief, though, was focused on what is referred to in social work as cumulative grief, he said. This book was the first time Méjico touched on the topic from a first-hand perspective.
“This book is about walking individuals through their own grief process, utilizing the tools and blessings that I discovered through 10 years of practicing contemplative prayer,” Méjico said.
This form of prayer traces its roots to the third and fourth centuries, during the early church.
"It really started from wanting to know Christ, not just know religion," Méjico said.
After the church expanded, men who became known as the Desert Fathers withdrew from metropolitan areas to pursue lives of prayer and spiritual devotion. Méjico said they were concerned that an increasing emphasis on religious regulations could distract from a relationship with Christ.
His book looks at different forms of contemplative prayer.
“Each are unique in their own ways, but what they require is to sit quietly in the presence of God and engage with Scripture, speaking openly with your heart about what you’re going through, what you’re feeling, what you’re seeing and experiencing,” Méjico said.
Méjico guides students through a voluntary contemplative prayer at the end of every class he teaches. He first implemented this when brainstorming ways to integrate faith into the classroom.
“I wanted to do something that was genuine and heartfelt,” he said. “I discovered that some students really enjoy the practice, especially given that many lessons I teach in social work or psychology can be emotionally distressing or triggering.”
Some students have provided positive feedback on the experience and even mentioned that they began using it outside of class. This led to a research study approved by CBU’s Institutional Review Board where Méjico interviewed past students about their experience with centering prayer and the impact it had on them.
This partially inspired his book, as he wanted to dive into what contemplative prayer might look like outside an academic setting.
For Méjico, contemplative prayer allowed him to surrender his grief by deepening his relationship with Christ through prayer rooted in Scripture. His intent when writing this book was to walk with the reader, showing them that grief is universal.
“I attempt to introduce the reader to concepts that are germane to my discipline. So, I sprinkle in elements of psychology, sociology, social work, theories and things like that into my writing,” Méjico said.
While his intent is to provide tools to pastors and anyone who regularly walks people through grief, Méjico also wants the message to land into the heart of a reader who doesn’t come from those backgrounds.
Méjico hopes to use his book in future classes. He feels that it can guide students further in the topic of grief and how they might integrate faith in their workplaces.
The job of any social worker is to serve those who have been marginalized or in need of help, he said. In order to help others be well, they themselves have to be well.
“If we are in a difficult place emotionally, spiritually or even physically, it makes it difficult for us to be effective as social workers,” he said.
Méjico’s hope is that readers will trust that through a relationship with God grounded in His Word, and through constant conversation with Him, joy is possible and waiting on the other side of grief.